clara chan. 19. trying to figure things out.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
thoughts
Exams are finally over and strangely enough, I don’t feel as liberated as I hoped to be. I still wake up after a few hours of sleep, panicking, trying to recall a particular definition or a particular process. I still feel that urge to rush home to hit my books once more. I still feel that tinge of guilt while watching television. But the good news is that this peculiar feeling is slowly diminishing, albeit slowly.
In retrospect, A’s were kinda a blur and I was just taking everything as it was. Physical geog, chem paper 3 and econs essays I think killed me, but I’m really hoping that even thought those papers were damage control, not much damage was done and that my credit control papers will pull me up. But it’s all over.
And it’s really weird not studying and the weirder part is, I feel that I’ve lost touched with a gazillion people. I guess it’s because I haven’t seem them in ages, heard from them in eons and stuff like that. and I was wondering if all those fears I had were coming true. Like they were just there to help you survive school and be gone when it’s all over. It’s kinda saddening really. But i’m hoping it’s not my worst nightmare coming true.
PS: to my uncle in some part of the world. I know I said some harsh things before, but can you blame me? You inflicted so much hurt to each and every one of us that I thought you have lost your mind, considering that you were giving something so valuable to someone much less deserving, in fact to someone who is totally undeserving of it that I simply could not understand the rationale behind your actions. But at the end of the day, you’re still my uncle and that since you have decided to start over, please treasure your new chance and don’t do anything that will inflict anymore harm to anyone. And when I mean anyone, you better know what I mean. They are still waiting for you to come back, and they still care for you. When your eldest and toughest son heard that you were flying off to another country to work, he cried. So think about what I’m saying, uncle, think.
PSS: my daddy and mommy rocks! They bought me the phone i wanted! =)
9:18 pm
